


Earth's Mightiest Family

by Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, One Big Happy Family, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Villain of the Week
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 15:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11854683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter/pseuds/Ibelieveinahappilyeverafter
Summary: A collection of Avengers drabbles inspired by various prompts, pictures, and ideas found across the internet. All drabbles take place pre-Civil War unless stated in the drabble itself. The team is all one happy family living together in Avenger's Tower and the Accords never happened.Read along as the Avengers, Earth's Mightiest Heroes, deal with their greatest challenge of all - trying to live together as a family.Tags will be updated as drabbles are added.





	Earth's Mightiest Family

Bonjour, mes chers! I was feeling a little stir crazy so I decided to do some prompts and drabble ideas I’ve had in my head for the last while. To start with, here’s a little Avengers piece heavily inspired by [this picture here](http://ibelieveinahappilyeverafter.tumblr.com/post/130843371002/padalickingood-im-sure-at-some-point-the-tower)! It happens in that magical time where the team is a good and proper family and there’s been no Civil War or anything else.

Feel free to look at my tumblr, [ibelieveinahappilyeverafter](ibelieveinahappilyeverafter.tumblr.com), for more stories, drabbles, and everything else! You can even request drabbles that might end up here!

::

It was very hard to ruin Clint Barton’s day- Well, no, actually, he took that back. It was easy to ruin Clint’s day - stupidly, ridiculous, _horribly_ easy, in fact. What was hard to do was for anyone to actually prove that Clint’s day was ruined. Hey, he grew up in a circus, okay. One of the first things you learn is how to put a smile on for the masses. So, okay, sure, he might now be a super secret agent and an Avenger who ran around shooting people with a bow and arrow- Yeah, see, sounded silly. His background was good for that, though. Clint was good at being silly right until he buried an arrow into the eyeball of a drug lord, mafia boss, or secret supervillain who hadn’t been all that secret about things.

The fact of the matter was, Clint was good at pretending everything was fine and dandy and keeping a smile on his face as the jokes flew back and forth. He was good at that. The problem was - you see, the _problem was_ \- he was having a very hard time doing that when he was tied up with chains, rope, what looked to a few locks for good measure and his body covered in nothing but torn and dirty pajamas that were purple with little hawks all over them.

They were a gift, okay, it wasn’t his fault all his friends had as shit a sense of humor as he did. The fact of the matter was that he had been kidnapped during a battle with the week’s latest upcoming supervillain - some chick that had a thing for mind controlling birds - and Clint had been snatched off the battlefield by a genetically modified hawk the size of a fucking bus because- He didn’t know why. Irony? A hawk capturing Hawkeye? Yeah, that was about his day.

See, usually it took more than this to get Clint down. He was usually a pretty cheerful dude, after all. At least, he was until he had been woken up at three in the fucking morning by another attack on Avengers tower. An attack that was then revealed to be the alarms malfunctioning because Tony goddamn Stark had to have the habit of fiddling with wires he should not be touching at ass o’clock. So after that mess had been resolved, Clint had tried to crawl back into bed only to have it rudely shoved in his face that since they were all up and it was morning they might as well be productive! Clint hated Steve sometimes, really, he did. The guy was so darn likable but he was also the goddamn epitome of morning people. At least everyone else had suffered with him.

But, oh. That had barely even been the start of the mess. To make a long and painful story short, Clint’s entire wardrobe had been burned, he had been through medical three times, he had been chewed out by Natasha for forgetting some obscure holiday he couldn’t really remember right now because of his ongoing concussion, he had gotten into a sparring fight with the Iron Man suit and lost spectacularly, he had been a guinea pig for Bruce’s latest experiments, Phil had given him _the disappointed look_ for something he couldn’t even remember, and the straw that finally broke the hawk’s back was the fact that Clint was tied up and kidnapped _in fucking pajamas_.

“It’s always such a shame to see a beautiful bird caged, but I figured for you that would be best. Perhaps it’ll change in the future, however.” Oh. Oh, he was in a cage, too. That just- That just made everything right and dandy, didn’t it?

“Look, lady, I get it, you have a bird kink. That’s fine. We all have our thing. Here’s the problem, though, I don’t have that kink. My name is Hawkeye literally because I have perfect aim. That’s it. That’s all. I don’t get down and dirty-” Clint could honestly say he had never been attacked by a hoard of hummingbirds before today. At least it would make a good story when this day was far, _far_ behind him.

“Silence, insolent hatchling!” Oh, god, why did the supervillains all have to be utter wackjobs? Couldn’t they have a suave, nice supervillain that just wanted to take over the economy or something? Fuck the Avengers. “You would do well to watch yourself when in the presence of those greater than you.”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that. Hey, do you happen to have any clothes not made of feathers or something?” The feathers were a bit much, but Clint was honestly considering settling if he had to. See, not everyone could suit up through lightening or technology or be Natasha. Some of them just had to be regular mortals.

“ _Bait_ so rarely needs to be alive. Do not test my patience.” That was another thing. These types of villains always spoke like they came straight from Shakespeare in the Park. What the hell was up with that? It was the modern fucking century, they didn’t need to be all Thor. Except they weren’t even that because at least Thor made it sound charming. “I have little doubt your precious _Avengers_ will be here soon. When they do-”

“They’ll fall right into your trap and you’ll prove that you’re the most genius, evil, insane villain in all the world. Yeah, lady, I get it. Been there, done that, it’s getting old.” These people needed to be more original. Maybe SHIELD should send out some tutors to these idiots just to make the fight more interesting. That was a good idea. Clint would have to remember that one.

“Such blustering for such a weak thing.” Yeah, yep, that was him. Clint Barton. The only normal human on the team of gods, super soldiers, geniuses, and Natasha. Well, Rhodey and Sam were pretty normal, but then they piloted high-tech suits of armor, so really, it was a moot point- “Are you even listening, you fool!”

“Hm? Oh, no, can’t say I was. Hey, seriously, do you have anything? It’s starting to get a bit drafty in here.” See, here was the bad thing about cages and supervillains. They couldn't reach you themselves, but they usually had tricks to make sure you still suffered. This one seemed fond of unleashing flocks of birds on him. All things considered, if ravens could take a pretty large chunk of skin out of him, he’d hate to see what the vultures did. “Right. Sorry. You were saying you would defeat the greatest of superheros to exist since… Ever. How exactly are you going to do that?”

While the crazy bird chick went on with just how she was going to be defeating everyone, Clint traced his tongue over the roof of his mouth, hopefully activating the one way receiver that would let the others hear everything they were saying. He wouldn’t be able to really hear them since his hearing aides were gone between the hawk ride and the cage, but at least he could make do reading crazy lady’s lips. She was a very exaggerated person.

Right, where was he in his thoughts? Oh, yeah, his super shitty day and his inability to even take enjoyment out of riling up the craziest villain this week. There were so many potential puns and jokes he could make, but, no, really. He wanted this day to be over with- Ah.

The giant hawk had just crashed through the roof with a pleased looking Hulk sitting on top of it. Well, that was one way to make an entrance. Sighing, Clint set to work on breaking out of his bonds, having only a bit of trouble with them. Considering there were chains, you think they’d keep him in better. Must be this chick’s first time kidnapping someone. How sweet.

Feeling a touch on his shoulder as soon as he got the worst of it off, Clint tensed and was already moving to defend himself before he felt the back of his neck lightly squeezed, and, oh. Okay, that explained how someone snuck up on him. Feeling a familiar sensation of something being pressed into his ear, Clint blinked up at Phil as he was helped off the ground. “I’m not sure what’s more worrisome here, that you were kidnapped by a hawk or those pajamas.”

“Says the one who bought them for me,” Clint scoffed, adjusting the earpiece and glancing back at the fight. “Iron Man, did you just fly in with a swarm of parrots following you?” Clint wanted a picture of that. Right now.

“ _Screw you, Barton, at least I didn’t get kidnapped by a giant hawk in the middle of downtown!_ ” Yep, Tony was as done with the day as he was. A kindred spirit, that one.

“Sorry, I was a bit busy making sure no one died.” Glancing back to see Phil was scanning him and his injuries, Clint felt a bit of tension released before he sighed. “There’s a few kidnapped people down in the basement and her lab is two floors down.

“ _I got the lab!_ ” Of course Tony did. If Bruce was more himself at the moment, he probably would have gleefully followed after. Mad scientists, those two.

“ _I’ll get the civilians. Iron Man, save what you can of that lab or trace it back to find out who she really is. Black Widow, Thor, keep her busy and look for any kind of weakness, Hawkeye, see if you can’t help Hulk get rid of some of these goddamn birds. Coulson, let me know as soon as SHIELD arrives._ ”

“ _Language_.” At least three people snapped out, Clint almost certain that Phil had been one of them. Judging by Steven’s frustrated silence, he knew each and every person who said it.

Kicking open the cage door with more force than was probably necessary, Clint headed to where he had seen his bow taken, grinning a little as he dodged all the chaos.

So, yeah, he could freely and happily admit that he hated the Avengers some days, but god did he love them like the family he always needed.

One of them couldn’t have brought him a change of clothes, though?


End file.
